Dialogue Class Promotes Understanding Across Generations
By Michelle Nery
Despite at times a gap of nearly 50 years between them, Learning in Retirement Institute (LRI) members and students in the New Century College (NCC) Intergenerational Dialogue course have found they have a lot in common. The course, taught by Janette Muir, NCC associate dean, and alumna Jennifer Murphy, M.S. Conflict Analysis and Resolution '01, brings together traditional students between the ages of 17 and 21 and LRI members who are age 55 and older to discuss a variety of topics, including death and dying; Sept. 11 and First Amendment rights; language use, including slang and profanity; and marriage and values.
The idea for the class formed last year during a reception honoring two NCC students who received scholarships from LRI.
"Afterward, we were talking about how exciting it would be to have some ongoing conversations between traditional students and LRI members," says Muir. "The class was spurred on by the interest of the students and because of my own communication background."
"The students are learning there is wisdom in listening to people who have gained wisdom through so many years of experience. So often in our culture, we are quick to dismiss those over 55," says Muir. "I think the LRI members are also learning a lot about the younger generation, which in turn helps to improve their communication with their own grandchildren and family members. Many of them don't have opportunities to talk to college students to get a feel for what they are thinking."
Ruth Kaplan, LRI member, has found the dialogues to be "very enlightening and pleasant" and was surprised to find during the first session that she shared many similar childhood experiences with Omar Assefi, an Integrative Studies senior with a concentration in business administration who came to the United States from Afghanistan at age 12. "I also came here at the age of 12 but from Germany," says Kaplan. "Omar had many of the same concerns and faced many of the same issues that I faced, particularly about our parents' backgrounds and attitudes, and resolving your own conflicts to learn how to become part of the society."
"We had a lot in common growing up," says Assefi. "I didn't know the language. I had a rough childhood and so did she. I was surprised that our experiences were so similar."
Michelle Miller, a junior Integrative Studies major with a concentration in organizational studies, found the opportunity to connect with fellow students during the dialogue about Sept. 11. "I've been able to share a lot of things that have helped me to reflect on myself especially in the dialogue about 9/11," says Miller. "I was sharing some personal things in the dialogue and one of the students thanked me for sharing because he was feeling the same thing and didn't feel quite as alone."
One topic that the NCC students were really interested in discussing with LRI members was marriage and relationships and how to sustain them over time. "There are not so many differences between us when it comes to marriage than I thought there would be," says LRI member Lilyan Spero. "There weren't as many people living together before marriage as there are now, but I felt I had a lot in common with the students. Their values and views on marriage and love are very similar to ours."
Likewise, several of the students' assumptions about the other generation were proved false during an ice-breaker exercise in which Muir gave students and LRI members a list of things to find out about one another, including finding someone who has fought in a war, someone who has been adopted, or someone who has more than three cats.
"That kind of exercise is really interesting," says Muir. Traditional students tend to think that the older men had all been to war, but the reality is that none of them had, she says.
"They all realized that the assumptions you make about different generations are just that - assumptions and not reality." Z |
